If you read down a few posts you’ll see “part 1″ of this series with a little bit of an explanation as to why I’m writing out these questions. Answering these questions in a written reflection has been a good process for me – and while I’m sure I will begin to add to some my answers as we continue further in this process of becoming parents and have the privilege on looking back on what God has done – I am grateful for having these to look back on as I do. This next question was a difficult one, my answer is not exhaustive, but I know it’s the foundation God has given me to keep going.
Question 3: Have you thought about raising a child of a different race?
Ed and I thought a lot about this question before we decided on Ethiopia. I’ve heard stories of adopted children almost resenting their parents for taking them in to a home and culture so different from their heritage. I wondered if I could handle that kind of rejection – or if wondering that just further proved that such a family was never meant to be. I know there are lots of answers to this question but what did it for me was a bit of reflection time on what I would say to a child growing up with white parents and dark skin; a child who felt out of place, a child who just wanted to fit in and was slowly finding out that what worked for him or her as a toddler wasn’t working as they became older. The root of this fear is found in the soul of every human being. We want to belong, to be accepted, to find our identity in something. I know I would have love to offer, a good home and family values – but I also know this need runs deep. Looking back into the heart of a teenage/college age girl I found that during this quest for who we really are and where we really belong, no question is off limits. Does my family really love me? Do they really know me? Do I really believe everything I was taught? These questions can be poison to a child who comes from the most stable of families, let alone one who has every right to question her background and the decisions made for her while she was too young to have a say. While most might take a step back at the thought of this kind of parent scrutiny, I am not afraid. I’m not afraid because my own identity is not found in my upbringing, my culture, my parents love, my ethnicity, my friends, or my talents. I belong to Jesus Christ and He has adopted me as His own. The savior of this world knows my name and I am His daughter. I have this love to offer my children, this new identity. Needless to say, being uncontrollably excited and beyond blessed at the thought of this task – is an understatement.
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AAAANNNND here’s the latest and the greatest, these bonus questions are all the rage:
Any new news on the adoption front?
Nope. There will be none actually, for awhile. We are in the “waiting stage” we are pregnant and getting fatter – only problem, we don’t have a scheduled due date!!
Do you know when you’ll get a referral?
The average wait time is around 6 months, so we’ve sort of set our metal clocks to sometime this summer. However, the wait time is very unpredictable, it could be 2 months, it could be 10 – we really REALLY don’t know! : )
Will it be a boy or a girl?
You guessed it, we don’t know : ) Our request allows for a male or female…. or…. set of twins!!
Do you know how old they will be?
Our request was for an infant between 0-12 months. By they time we take them out of the country they could technically be a little older than 12 months though – so the span we’re looking at is probably between 0-18 months realistically. Maybe still bottle feeding and in need of a crib… maybe walking and eating solid foods – not sure.
I think that just about does it for now! We’ll let you know the minute we have any updates – no really, the MINUTE – I’m pretty sure we’ll be so excited we won’t be able to contain it for one extra second : )
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