MONTHS.

I just recently informed my poor brain (who likes to take as many rests from doing math as possible) that it has actually been 6 and a half months since our adoption packet was sent to Ethiopia and approved.  6 and a half months of waiting for a phone call.  This waiting game is tough, it’s almost like trying to fathom the concept of eternity.  There is a child out there that exists, they may be born, they may not yet be born.  We may have to wait for 5 more days, we may have to wait for 12 more months.  My head is spinning.

It’s almost like people dread having to ask how the adoption is going as much as I dread telling them nothing is really going on at all, we’ve just passed a bit more time.  Some folks may think, 6 months of waiting, that’s nothing, time goes by in a flash!  But if your name is Brenda and you work at a certain UPS store in our town you know exactly how long this total of a 10 month process has been.  Brenda signed a good majority of our paperwork as a a notary, and she’s also the sweet smile that greets me everytime I send of a package of photos to a client.  Every time I walk in that store I know she’s waiting for news!  She knows how it wears on you to have nothing to share.  She knows how the days stretch into months and the months turn into a year.  It’s a short time of long silence and it’s the silence that sort of drives you a little crazy and makes the days stretch by like centuries.

At one point this never-ending sky will land on a day and on that day we will be parents, I can’t imagine a happier thought.

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2.25.11

There’s a big storm outside the windows as I pause to reflect on what I know of you.  I know you are far way from me right now in Ethiopia. I know you will begin your life in a very different way than I began mine.  I now that you were never really an orphan – as even now while your tiny life unfolds I can’t wait to bring you home.  I know that you are loved, deeply by two people who are so ready to become mom and dad.  The thought of even just holding a picture of you in our hands can bring tears to my eyes.  I know that you have already changed Eddie and I forever.  We are different people because you were born – and we couldn’t be more thankful.

I love you my sweet little one, more than words can say.

- mom