Raising a puppy is hard work.  Really hard work.  Raising a Siberian Husky puppy…. is harder.  They will test you to no end and proclaim of their power to every living thing in the house.  We worked so hard to keep this puppy in line, to teach him to mind, to give him a schedule and mold him into the perfect dog.  Oh yes, we worshiped at the feet of Caesar Milan’s Dog Whispering techniques.  Calm assertive pack leaders to the max.  To cut Kingsley some slack though, he is adorable, soft, and the funniest talking dog you’ve ever seen.  He has seriously been our “child project” for the last year and half as we’ve learned how to be responsible to something that utterly depends on you to be there for it and to train it to do the right things.  We have had arguments over discipline methods, we have learned to follow a schedule with dog walking, feeding, crating, we have learned how to love the thing that steals our time and freedom and at times even the thing that upsets us most.

This Christmas, we had to give away our Dog.  By now I feel as if I’ve had to explain it five million times over – but really – it’s boiled down to the fact that as hard as we’ve worked, he’s just not a dog for small children – and we happen to be expecting one very soon.  We’ve found a good home for him with a previous Siberian Husky owner who recently lost his older Husky to a tumor.  I am fairly certain that Kingsley fell in love with him at first sight.  However, this transition hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had no idea it was going to be this hard to give him away.   For as many months as I’ve thought and planned and talked about it happening, it never really clicked until the first night he was gone.  I was a sobbing mess – and I was sick so my husband can tell you how fun that must have been for the comforting front.  I really, severely, misjudged my emotional capability to survive the release of this dog.  I just wanted to run over to their house and steal him back.

I know it was hard on me because he was the closest thing we had to a child of our own and our house just felt so empty.  However, there is a part of me that keeps treating Kingsley like a person and I felt so much pain for him in his confusion – with a new owner, a new house, never allowed to see us and his familiar routines again.  He would be forced to forget about us and I didn’t like it.  I know I’m getting deep into dog psychology here, but this is what happens when you think too much and your children are dogs and cats.

And still, I can’t help but think about the state of my child and his/her family at this time.  We’re getting so close, this could be the exact same month that his mother and/or father had to give him away.  Going through this process with our dog has opened my eyes to just the tip of that large iceberg of grief a mother must endure in having to give up her child for adoption.  I don’t yet know the story of our child, and there are so many reasons why he or she is an orphan, but I do have a heart at this time for his parents.  I am praying for their story, for their grief and their pain.  I am praying that God will be there to comfort them and offer peace.  I am praying that somehow, they would feel the love we have to offer their little baby, and they would be filled with God’s grace.

We’ll miss you Kingsley!

bandofbrothers - December 28, 2010 - 4:15 pm

ok, now i’m crying. you have a beautiful way with words and for relating to the parents of your new baby. this whole dog thing, must be a God thing.

Barbie - December 28, 2010 - 10:32 pm

Hi Ellie,
I hopped over from Davi’s blog and just wanted to say that I loved this post. Such a great perspective. And like Davi said, it is certainly a God thing. As sad as it was to love and let go of Kingsley, it’s helped you to better understand your baby– amazing how God can use our hurt in such a relevant way. Praying for your new baby and your new life as parents.

Tasha - December 30, 2010 - 11:10 pm

Thanks for sharing Ellie.

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